


Fade Into You

by sentimentalblue



Category: Attack on Titan, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eremika - Freeform, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mikasa/Eren - Freeform, Sadness, Terminal Illnesses, eren/mikasa - Freeform, lost girls attack on titan OVA, lost girls ova, sorry for making you cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:21:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26558056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sentimentalblue/pseuds/sentimentalblue
Summary: This story takes place in the Lost Girls OVA universe.Grisha introduces 18-year-old Eren to 18-year-old Mikasa, one of his new patients, and both quickly take a liking to each other. Nevertheless, Mikasa's illness threatens to cut their blossoming relationship short.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 42
Kudos: 131





	Fade Into You

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to say that no one asked me to write this and that I did it just to make people sad, but no, someone actually asked for this. That person will remain anonymous, even to me. Yes, it made me sad writing this. ***MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. 
> 
> ***If you have lost someone due to illness and this will be triggering, please don’t read, or read with caution.

Shiganshina was a small town where nothing much ever happened. Everyone knew each other, people knew everyone’s business, whether you liked it or not, and everything was the same, day after day. For Eren, this was the worst thing possible. Oh, how he wished he could change it, it was so boring that he sometimes felt like falling to the ground and dying. 

His father’s constant nagging about him doing something with his life wasn’t welcomed at all by him. He had just turned eighteen, and all his parents wanted for Eren was for him to live a life he was proud of. Grisha, his father, always told him to get some sort of occupation, anything really. Though Eren knew that deep down, Grisha wanted him to become a doctor, like him. 

He hated the thought of this. He hated the idea of sick people. They always knocked at their door trying to find a magic cure for whatever disease they carried. Eren didn’t care, he thought that if they got sick, it was just their rotten luck for falling so ill that they were knocking at death’s door. 

Carla never nagged Eren to start on his path. She knew that for some it took time to realize where to head and where to go. 

“You're special because you were born into this world. You will soon find why it is that you walked into this earth, Eren.” 

That’s what his mother would always say. He never quite understood why she said this to him. He didn’t feel special, he felt like a waste of space, like he was meant to live and die without ever accomplishing anything. At least, that’s what he thought, because everything changed that spring, just as the flowers were beginning to bloom and the last drops of winter snow were saying their annual goodbye, Eren Yeager would never be the same.

**⌘**

That morning was like no other. It was the first time in months that he woke up without feeling like an ice cube. He walked out to the warm smell of breakfast and he sat at his usual seat. Grisha looked a little preoccupied and both Eren and his mom noticed this. 

“Everything good, dad?” Eren asked. 

Grisha smiled and nodded an ordinary, “Yes.” 

Eren and Carla looked at each other and shrugged. Whatever it was that was going on with him, they figured they’d just leave him to think about it. However, Grisha soon broke his silence as he stared at his wife and son, “We’ll be having a visitor today. It’s a family.” 

“Okay?” Eren scoffed, “You always have sick visitors.” 

Grisha moved to push his glasses up his nose and cleared his throat as his gaze lingered on Eren, “This couple will be bringing their daughter. Eren… I think she’s eighteen, just like you.” 

Eren frowned at this. _So, what if they were the same age?_ Therefore, he just sat there glumly eating his breakfast as he watched how his mother walked towards his father to hand him his morning cup of coffee and morning peck on his cheek. “Is she sick?” she asked, looking concerned. 

Grisha nodded, “They say she’s got these constant headaches, they’re so bad that they leave her bed ridden at least once a month.” 

“Who is it?” Carla pressed, “Anyone we know?” 

Grisha shook his head. “I doubt it, they live in the mountains, but they are desperate and I guess they heard about me, so the father sought after me.” 

Carla ran her fingers through Grisha’s hair and smiled, “I’m sure you’ll make that girl feel better.” 

Eren continued eating, he didn’t care. He didn’t think ‘poor girl,’ and instead thought, ‘bad luck to her.’

“Why’d you ask them to come to the house and not your office?” Eren asked, slightly annoyed. 

Eren knew that his father did this on purpose, to see if the occupation of doctor will one day spark Eren’s interest, but no matter how many times his father did this, it would never work. 

Grisha didn’t answer, instead, he quietly sipped on his hot cup of coffee and turned to his morning paper.

**⌘**

Eren was cleaning his room when he heard the knock on the front door. He sighed as he muttered to himself, “Here we go, more sick people.” 

He continued cleaning and ignored the muffled greetings his parents offered to the visitors, nevertheless, his name was soon being called by his mother. 

“Eren! Please, come out!” 

The young man ran a frustrated hand through his hair, and squeezed his eyes shut as he was again being forced to see an ill looking person, who desperately sought to give the fate of their lives to his father. 

When he stepped out, he saw three people sitting on the table. The girl his father spoke about sat in between her parents. Her back faced him and his presence would have remained unknown to her, if it wasn’t for his parents acknowledging him. 

“Ah, there he is! This is Eren, our son,” Grisha waved him over. 

The three persons turned to him, but Eren caught on how the girl was slower to look at him. 

Eren didn’t understand why he felt this uneasy feeling when he saw her. He walked to them and shook the parents’ hands with a polite smile, but when it came to shaking her hand, he couldn’t help but be struck by the way she looked at him. She looked at him with these weary tired gray eyes, like she hadn’t slept all night, and Eren felt sorry just looking at her. He held her warm hand, and instantly took notice at how small her hand was inside his. He wondered where his voice had gone, because for some strange reason it seemed to have left him, so he cleared his throat and pushed his mouth to at least say his own name. 

“Eren,” he said in one quick breath. 

The girl nodded and smiled at him, more out of politeness than actually wanting to smile, as she quietly whispered, “Mikasa.” 

The way she said her own name, reminded Eren of the soft way the first snow pelted one in the face. It was like a quiet whisper that is only reserved to those who are willing to listen.

Eren felt the urge to get out of the house, he knew how these visits went. His father’s visitors were never permanent. They were here one day, gone the next. Therefore, he awkwardly looked to the door and then at his mother, who was already raising an eyebrow at him, knowing what it was he was about to do.

 _Sorry, mom,_ he thought. 

“Nice meeting you,” he rushed, “I’m actually heading out, but make yourself comfortable.” 

And before his parents could stop him, Eren was out the door. 

**⌘**

Eren walked around town looking for anything to do. He might visit Armin, that is if he wasn’t busy trying to build something crazy. Lately, it’s been telescopes. He’s had the affinity to look at the stars, and Eren didn’t blame him. Armin’s horizons always extended past Shiganshina, Eren was sure his friend would do great things with the life he was given. Eren too, was always searching elsewhere for a way to escape the cage that was his town. He yearned for freedom, he itched for adventure, and the ability to live his life to its maximum capacity. Maybe, he’d spend today convincing Armin on building a contraption that will fly them the hell out of town. 

As he walked, the Military Police looked at him funny, like Eren was just going to commit trouble for them at any moment. That’s the reputation Eren Yeager had built for himself in this town. 

_‘Eren the bad boy!’_

That’s how people saw him here. They saw him as someone that would amount to nothing, and who knows, they might be right. Eren wanted to tell the MP’s to screw off. It’s not like he was going to do something in front of them. If he were going to do bad, he’d do it behind their backs, not in front, and so he continued walking on his search for a cure from the boredom he was currently suffering from. 

**⌘**

Armin was working on a telescope, just how Eren predicted . He paid him no attention as he walked into his shed, where he did all of his inventions with no care to who came around him. Eren had to knock on the wooden table, just so Armin could hear him, but instead he ended up startling him. 

“Eren!” 

Eren laughed as he took a seat, and Armin talked to him, while he fiddled with whatever piece he held in his hand. 

“You’re here early,” Armin said as he gave him a quick glance. 

“My parents are at it again.” 

Armin gave him a sideways smile, “They just want you to do something instead of just bothering me.” 

“I’m not bothering you? Am I?” Eren asked, genuinely concerned. 

Armin stayed silent, but after a while he asked, “So, your father brought a patient home again?” 

This reminded Eren of the sick girl. _Mikasa… that was her name, right?_ He was surprised he remembered. Many times he’d hear the patient’s name and it’ll go in through one ear and out the other. _Why would he remember this girl’s name?_

“Eren?” Armin stopped to look at Eren, surprised by his silence. 

Eren had gotten completely lost in his thoughts, as he absently answered, “Uh, yeah, this girl. Our age actually.” 

“Oh,” Armin said this with little interest and he got back to his work. He thought Eren would be finished talking, but he didn’t.

“Her name’s Mikasa.” 

Armin again stopped working, and he looked at Eren inquisitively. 

“You remembered her name?” 

“I guess I did.” 

“Mikasa, huh? And she’s our age?” 

Eren perused Armin’s shelf and grumbled, “Yeah, now, enough about my father’s patient. When will you be done with the telescope?” 

Armin smiled at him, “Soon. Oh, and you’re the one going on about your father’s patient, not me.” 

When Armin said this, Eren didn’t know how to respond, because Armin was right. Eren was the one that kept going on about this Mikasa girl, and he found this very strange, because he never had taken interest on a stranger, especially a patient of his father’s. 

**⌘**

Eren came home after spending the entire day with Armin. His parents sat in the living room reading quietly. When they saw Eren, they didn’t say anything and just let him go to his room. 

Eren laid on his bed with his hand behind his head and the other hanging off the edge of the bed. There was nothing for him to do around here. So, he sort of welcomed the knock that came from his door. His father always knocked in warning, before entering and he never waited for a response from Eren, whether he could come in or not.

Grisha walked with light steps towards Eren, and soon he sat at the edge of the bed, and sighed as he stared at his son. 

“I want to ask you a favor.” 

“What,” Eren said monotonously. 

“Can you come with me to the mountains?” 

“Why?” Eren asked, actually curious to what his father would ask of him. 

“I need help carrying some stuff for when I visit Mikasa, the girl from-”

“The girl from this morning, yeah.” 

“Yes, the girl from this morning. So... can you?”

Eren shrugged, “Do you really need help? Tell me what this is really about.” 

Grisha pursed his lips, and Eren took notice of his father’s sadness. 

“She’s sick.” 

“All your patients are sick.” 

“You’re right about that.” 

“And what do you want me to do about it?” 

“They live in the mountains. No one lives in the mountains. It’s only her parents and her.” 

“That sounds boring.” 

“Exactly, that’s why I figured since you're her age, you can come with me to keep her company during my visits.” 

Eren stayed silent, his mind screamed no, but some part of him urged him to do this. He wasn’t sure for who he would do this for. Was it for his father, for her, or for himself? 

“What time should I wake up?” 

Grisha smiled at Eren and patted his shoulder. 

“Thanks, Eren. How does seven sound?” 

Eren nodded and just like that his father was out the door. 

**⌘**

Eren woke up before seven, he chose his nicest clothes and for the first time, he stared at the mirror to take a good look at himself. He wanted to look decent today, though he wasn’t sure what prompted this feeling, or maybe he knew, but he didn’t want to admit it.

Grisha and him had to take a boat to get to the edge of the mountain hill, where the sick girl lived with her parents. It was an almost two hour trip to reach her home. They had to walk up the mountain, and Eren’s legs ached once the sight of the small cabin came into view. He couldn’t help but wonder how it was that the girl walked down and back up the mountain when she was sick. 

Eren glanced behind him for a second, he wondered if it wasn’t too late for him to turn back. Nevertheless, father and son reached the cabin’s door, knocked, and though they waited tiredly, they waited patiently for the door to open. They were lucky that the inhabitants of the home were quick to open the door, and so they were quickly welcomed in. 

Eren scanned the small home and his eyes immediately landed on her. She sat with her head down occupied with some piece of cloth and needle. She was embroidering. She looked up from her work and smiled at Eren’s father first, then at him. Eren found himself giving her a small genuine smile, as those had become rare for him to give in recent years. 

“Hello,” she said, in this very soft and gentle voice that Eren couldn’t help but compare to the soft chirp of the baby birds perched on the nest next to his bedroom window. 

Overall, Grisha and Eren were greeted with utmost friendliness and politeness. They were seated and offered drinks and nourishment with such gentle eagerness that was greatly appreciated by them. Their hosts were even sorry that they made them come all the way to the mountain, since they knew how tiring and long the journey could be. Even though Grisha and Eren agreed with the notion, they didn’t voice it to them, and insisted that the journey wasn’t bad. 

**⌘**

Grisha quickly got to work. He took out his medical tools and took Mikasa’s temperature. He had her breath in and out as he heard her heartbeat through a stethoscope. He then held her head and felt around it. Eren couldn’t ignore the grim line on his father’s face as he did this. Eren knew his father well, and so he understood that this grim line wasn’t good news. 

After half an hour of this, and a few more questions about how she felt, Grisha turned to Eren and asked him to invite Mikasa outside, because he needed to talk to her parents. Eren understood that his father was going to give them the usual talk about what medicine she should take, and what care Mikasa would need, and this tended to be boring, so he was quick to comply and took Mikasa outside. 

**⌘**

Eren didn’t know what to do. Mikasa stood underneath the sunrays and just stared at the shining sky, and she closed her eyes as she let the sunlight kiss her skin. She wore this light pink long sleeved shirt with a long baby blue skirt, and when she turned to look at him he realized something he’d never realized on anyone else before. He realized that this Mikasa girl was beautiful. He’d never seen anyone like her in town. He’d only seen her sitting down and briefly, but right now, he saw her, _really saw her._

He saw how her gray eyes didn’t look as weary as the first time he met her. Her hair brushed below her shoulders and it was the blackest black Eren had ever seen. She was tall, and she looked strong, which confused Eren, because his father assured him that she was sick. Maybe his father was wrong, and that means Eren was wrong too, and he simply imagined the grim line his father wore earlier. Eren saw the surrounding woods and his adventurous curiosity soon took the better of him. He turned to Mikasa, and he felt the feeling of excitement slowly take root inside of him. 

“Do you want to go into the woods?” he surprised himself by asking this. 

Mikasa stared at him and then at the woods. There was some wariness behind her eyes as she pointed to the woods. 

“Dad says the woods are dangerous.” 

Eren scoffed and simply said, “I’ll protect you.” 

Mikasa stared at him for sometime, and normally Eren would find this uncomfortable, but for some reason, he liked being stared at by her. 

“Okay,” Mikasa relinquished in the easiest of ways.

**⌘**

Eren and Mikasa walked side by side. He did say he’d protect her, so he stood by her side the entire time. Eren talked and talked, and she listened to everything he had to say. He spoke of his friend Armin and the telescope he was working on, he spoke of his mother, and he spoke about how he wished to one day get out of the small town he called home. He thought she’d stop listening to him and just pretended to follow the one sided conversation, but every now and then she’d ask a question that assured Eren that she was listening to every syllable and vowel he vocalized. 

After some time Mikasa lagged behind and when Eren turned around, he saw her leaning her hand against a tree trunk. He kicked himself in the leg for not remembering that she was sick, and maybe not in the best physical condition for a walk. He was quick to help her sit atop the large root of a tree trunk and he worriedly watched her. Mikasa’s breathing sounded labored, but she still managed to smile at him, and Eren couldn’t ignore the little sparks that were sent through his body as she gifted him her smile. 

“Thanks,” she said. 

“Are you okay?” he queried. 

“I’m fine.” 

Eren rubbed the back of his neck and felt bad for making her overexert herself. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you tired.”

Mikasa slowly shook her head, “No… I wanted to keep walking.” 

Eren sat next to her, and waited for her to say something, but she never did. 

“We can go back,” he offered. 

Mikasa shook her head again, “I’m fine here, really.” 

And so, the two quietly sat on top of the overgrown root of the tree, and let the sound of the woodland animals fill whatever empty sound sat between them. Nevertheless, Mikasa held her head and winced a little and Eren felt a slight rise of his blood pressure as he saw her do this. He was expecting her to complain, but all Mikasa did was give him the smallest of smiles as she sighed, “I’m fine. I’ve just been feeling a little sick.” 

Eren turned to her and quipped, “This is why my father is here, he’ll make you feel better.” 

Mikasa looked down at the ground, and Eren looked to see what she was looking at. It was a trail of ants carrying a leaf and they both followed it with their gaze as Mikasa slowly spoke, “I felt the bump when he touched my head.” 

“My father will make you feel better, I’m certain,” he reassured. 

“Yeah,” she sighed softly. 

Again, the sound of woodland creatures going about their business took over. Eren focused on the repeated knocking of a woodpecker nearby, as he leaned back on his palms and looked to the large puffy white clouds above. 

“So, what do you do here?” he pondered.

“In the mountain?” 

“Yeah, what is there to do?” 

“I garden with my mom, embroider, cook, read… pray.” 

Eren had a habit of saying things before processing them in his head, and this occasion was no different as he blurted, “That sounds boring.” 

Mikasa didn’t take offense, instead she just said, “Maybe to you, but not to me.” 

Eren found himself smiling when she said this, “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” 

The raven haired girl didn’t stare at him as she softly asked, “Why do you want to leave town?” 

Eren let out an intermingled sound of grumble and sigh, “It’s boring.” 

“What is it that you’re looking for that isn’t at home?” she wondered. 

He’d never been asked a question like this, because what really was it that he was looking for? Acceptance? Freedom? _What was it?_ He didn’t answer. 

Eren never thought of things like that, a part of him was annoyed by this line of thinking, and so he questioned Mikasa, “And what are _you_ going to do? Stay in the mountains never having seen anything, but your home and the entrance of the woods?” 

“Is that a bad thing? Sometimes what you look for isn’t so far. Mom says that you can travel far and wide, but you always carry yourself wherever you go, so might as well make a home of yourself before you go.”

“You might be right, but you’ll never know if you don’t go out to look beyond the horizon. Right? If you don’t... you’re a chicken,” he jabbered. 

“A chicken?” 

“Yeah, eating, being sheltered, being told what to do like a chicken, until one day, you’re butchered.” 

Mikasa winced when he said this, and she suddenly held her head. This time it looked like it really hurt. She clutched her head between her palms and hung her head low for a moment. Eren watched at the sidelines, not knowing what to do or how to help her. 

“I’ll go get my father.” 

“No,” she echoed, “It’ll pass.” 

All Eren could do was watch as he waited for her pain to pass, and when it did, they started back home. 

As they saw the cabin in sight Mikasa mumbled, “Even if I wanted to go beyond the horizon… these headaches don’t allow me to do such a thing.” 

For the second time today, Eren felt like kicking himself. He made her overexert herself and he reminded her that her condition, _whatever condition it was she had_ , stopped her from doing what he one day dreamt of doing. 

When they reached her home, he turned to her and he felt nerves bubble beneath him as he mumbled, “I can ask Armin to bring the telescope when he’s done. We can come at night, to try it out… that is if you want.” 

Mikasa’s weary face soon beamed, “That sounds nice, Eren, I’d really like that!” 

“It’s a promise then.” 

The green-gray eyed boy nervously scratched the back of his head as his father stepped out the door. 

“There you are.” 

“Are we leaving?” Eren voiced in slight panic.

Grisha nodded, and he looked at Mikasa with clear tenderness as he told her, “I left some medicine for the pain. Go in, your parents are waiting for you.” 

“Thank you, Mr. Yeager,” she said, and then turned to Eren and bowed her head, “See you later, Eren.” 

“Yeah... see you in two weeks.” 

He looked a little disappointed as he watched her step indoors, however, at the same time he was also a little entranced by the way she closed the door in one swift noiseless movement. For a moment, he didn’t move until his father spoke. 

“Come on, Eren, let’s go home,” his father urged, and the duo went on their trek back down the mountain. 

**⌘**

As his father and him mounted the riverboat, Eren kept thinking about Mikasa. He told her he’d see her on their next visit in two weeks, and her eyes brightened when he said this. He pondered about what it was girls talked about, because he felt that he did a bad job at trying to keep her company. He soon settled on the idea that for his next visit he’d let her do whatever she wanted to do. If it was sit and pray, then he’d be willing to give it a chance. 

Eren was then quick to notice how his father was quiet, as he kept staring out into the distance. The same grim line he held earlier when he was examining her head appeared, and never had Eren asked his father about a patient, but the curiosity was killing him.

“Hey, dad?” 

His father turned to him letting him know he had his full attention, and waited for Eren to continue speaking. 

“Mikasa… is she going to be okay?” 

Grisha’s eyes held a soundless sense of worry as he said, “I had a patient with her symptoms a few years back…” 

“And?” 

“They didn’t last long.” 

“Things can be different, can’t they?” Eren proposed. 

The way Eren looked at him with this concerned gaze made it hard on Grisha to be honest with him, so he just gave a reassuring smile and said nothing of the matter, instead he queried on how peaceful the mountains were. 

“Weren’t the mountains so peaceful, Eren?” 

Eren answered with a shrug and said, “I guess they were peaceful… I did hear a woodpecker.” 

Grisha chuckled when Eren told him this, and wrapped his arm around his son. Even though Eren had surpassed him in height, Grisha would always see him as the kid with too much energy, and too much heart to give. He had hoped that maybe Eren would enjoy coming to the mountain with him, and seeing how Eren didn’t hate it, brought him great joy. 

**⌘**

The two weeks it took to see Mikasa dragged. Eren went to visit Armin to kill the days, and at nights he found it difficult to find sleep. He kept thinking about her way of being. She was quiet, too quiet. Normally, he disliked this, but there was something about her silence that brought some sense of calm within him. 

Like his room was noiseless at the moment, but it wasn’t the same noiselessness that Mikasa held. Her silence was filled with company and the spark of understanding. This combination was something Eren didn’t think silence could accomplish, or maybe it was just her that made this rare combination happen. 

He admitted that he wanted to see her again. There was a seed inside him, and it was currently being watered. What this seed would grow to become remained a mystery to him, but he hoped that it'd be something good. 

**⌘**

Eren and his father walked up the mountain again, for the second time in the month. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets, and he kept staring at the never ending expanse of dirt path below him. 

He felt that they were near, as the chimney smoke of the cabin was becoming visible, and Eren couldn’t help but feel the tiniest of longing in his chest. He was going to see her again. He’d promised to take her stargazing with Armin, and Eren with all his unruliness and zeal, wasn’t one to break promises. 

He just needed to wait for Armin to finish building the telescope. “Soon,” Armin assured, “Soon.” 

The cabin now became visible, and Eren could see the roof, the windows, and finally he saw her moving to and from with a wooden box filled with vegetables in hand. She didn’t see them at first, but it was as if she felt their presence when she turned to look at them. 

Her mouth first took the shape of surprise, but soon it changed to one of joy. Eren almost tripped on his feet as he saw that beaming smile of hers. He didn’t know what face he wore, but it was one that caused his father to huff in delight. 

“Eren!” Mikasa exclaimed. 

“Mikasa...” Eren sighed. 

They sort of stood there, not knowing what to say. They wanted to tell each other about the two weeks they didn’t see the other, but at the same time, they were just happy to be in one another’s presence that words couldn’t possibly fill their enthusiasm. Eren felt like he didn’t recognize himself. _Who was he right now?_ He felt silly, and filled with a novel emotion, he couldn’t place his finger on. It wasn’t until his father spoke that he remembered where he stood. 

“I’ll go say hi to your parents, Mikasa. I’ll call you in when you two are done talking.” 

Mikasa smiled at Mr. Yeager in thanks, and both Eren and Mikasa waited for him to disappear into the home. Eren then looked down at the crate held in her hands and frowned, “Vegetables?” 

Mikasa had forgotten about the object in her hand, and she looked down and then up at him happily, “Let me show you!” 

She put the crate down and took a hold of his hand as she eagerly led him to the vegetable garden up ahead. They sat in front of the eggplants and she held some shears in her hand. Eren wasn’t sure how to feel over the way she carefully held the stem of the eggplant and with one quick swipe, she had it free. She then handed a confused Eren the shears. 

“Cut right where the stem meets the plant.” 

His eyes gawked at the shears with weary, almost frightened eyes. Eren didn’t want to accidentally ruin the eggplant in case he cut it wrong, but when he did a decent job, Mikasa patted his back once, and praised him. Eren tried to ignore the skip his heart made when Mikasa looked at him happily. He almost felt… _special._

“How are your headaches?” Eren inquired.

Mikasa blinked at him and gave a quick efficient answer, “The medicine helps.” 

“Good.” 

Before they knew it they filled two wooden crates with a mix of the vegetables the garden was growing. 

“We’re making vegetable stew. My parents are inviting your dad, that is if you want to stay.” 

“I don’t mind.” 

They looked at each other, and the gaze they held carried something words couldn’t transcend. It held an, ‘I’m happy to be here,’ mixed with the warm embrace a chimney gives when one comes home from the cold. 

For a moment Mikasa frowned, she looked confused, but before Eren could ask her if everything was okay, she blinked several times, and pushed her hair behind her ear and gave him a gentle smirk.

“We’re done,” and she patted the two crates triumphantly. 

They both carried a crate each and made their way to the door. They walked shoulder to shoulder and both didn’t realize they were walking so closely. It wasn’t until Mikasa’s steps halted. Eren stopped a step ahead, and when he turned to look back, Mikasa let go of the crate just as her legs gave in. 

Eren flung his crate to the ground in a flash, and he moved as fast as he could to get a hold of her before she hit the ground. He managed to lay her gently on the ground, with her head on his lap, but it wasn’t over as Mikasa’s body began to convulse. 

“Seizure,” Eren muttered. Eren was certain that that’s what it was called, he’d seen it once with a child who was walking around town with his mother. He dropped to the ground and began flopping wildly. His dad had to step in and help the wailing desperate mother. When Eren asked his father what had happened he just sighed and said, “Seizure. And the first thing you should do when you see someone go through a seizure is remain calm.” 

Right now, Eren was more than ready to panic, but he used all his strength to keep his body calm. However, no matter how much he tried, he soon found himself yelling at the top of his lungs. 

“Dad! Come out! Dad!” 

Something inside him broke as he watched Mikasa writhe on the ground, and he finally understood the wailing mother, who clutched desperately at her child that day in town. It wasn’t long before his father stepped out with Mikasa’s parents right behind them. He heard a sob and a string of Mikasa’s name coming from them. 

It felt like forever that Mikasa remained in this state, but it turned out that it wasn’t even a minute that Mikasa spent thrashing on the ground. 

Eren felt tears sting at the corner of his eyes as he saw how her body finally gained back control. Her hand came in the air and Eren was quick to take a hold of it and he gently squeezed it inside his. 

“Mikasa…” he whispered.

Grisha hurried to take her pulse, but her eyes remained closed. Eren saw how his father opened her eyes and leaned in to see her pupils. After some moments, his father exhaled.

“She’ll be fine, let’s take her inside. She needs rest.” 

Mr. Ackerman moved to carry his daughter, but Eren was already hooking his hands underneath her legs and moving the other to cradle her neck and head. He didn’t know where he got the strength to stand with the weight of her body on his hands, but he managed. 

**⌘**

He laid her down gently on her bed and Mikasa’s mother placed her hand on Eren’s shoulder and muttered an appreciative, “Thank you.” 

No one said anything when he remained at her bedside on his knees. Instead, Mr. Ackerman was quick to procure a chair for him. Eren wanted to wait for her to wake up, to be sure that she was actually fine. His father was okay with this, because he too, wanted to wait until she would wake up. 

While Eren waited, he kept staring at her. He stared at the way her eyes would flutter underneath her eyelids, and the way she’d groan every now and then. It wasn’t until he placed his palm over her forehead that her face stopped contorting. As he did this, he took the time to look around her room and observed every nook and cranny of the four walled space. 

It wasn’t much. There was her bed, a nightstand, and a mirror against the wall. He also saw the cloth with the embroidered stitching resting on the corner of the night stand. It looked like a night sky, with small stars scattered on top, a puffy cloud in the corner, and a tree with blue violet flowers at the bottom. It reminded him of the tree on the outskirts of town near the wooded area he’d sometimes collect wood from. _I should take her,_ he thought. 

As he looked at the girl slowly blinking her eyes open, he wondered how it was that just with two visits, he’d come to care for her more deeply than he was willing to admit. 

“Hi,” she said with a blooming grin spreading on her face. 

“Hi,” Eren said with a similar smile. 

Mikasa moved to sit up, but she groaned as she did, “What happened?” 

“You had a seizure,” Eren informed. 

Mikasa gripped the blanket in between her fingers as she heard this. She liked that Eren wasn’t one to keep things from her. If it were her parents, they’d probably lie to her about what happened, since she held no recollection of the moment. Mikasa knows her parents are hiding something from her. She has an inkling that it has to do with her headaches. She’s not ignorant to how her body has been feeling alien to her lately. She’s certain that what’s happening to her is not normal, but for now she didn’t fret, not when Eren was by her side. 

“Let’s go outside,” she said in this low whisper-like tone and Eren held her hand as he helped her up. 

**⌘**

Eren and Mikasa walked to the living room, where their parents sat. Her mother was quick to come help Mikasa sit down, and Mikasa accepted her help. 

“How are you feeling?” Grisha asked. 

“Better,” she said. 

Mr. Ackerman went to kneel in front of his daughter and gave her a firm kiss on her forehead. 

“We have something to tell you,” he said, as he held her hand while he reached for his wife’s hand, “Mr. Yeager thinks it’ll be a good idea to move into town.” 

Eren perked up when he heard this, and so did Mikasa. It was quick, but they glanced at each other, and they both felt this silly giddiness at the thought of living closer to each other.

Before they left, Grisha and Eren promised to come help them move out on the day they’d be ready. And father and son left the Ackerman household a little more at peace knowing that Mikasa would be closer to them, in case she were to have a medical emergency. 

**⌘**

That night, Eren holed himself up in his father's office reading every text that included the word seizure. He unknowingly did the correct thing by having her avoid hitting her head, or hurting herself as she was convulsing. 

The text was the most advanced medical book his father had, but even the book didn’t know the underlying causes for a seizure. However, it did mention many possible things, tumors being one of them. 

When Eren read this he balled his fists, and with a loud slam he suddenly threw the book against the wall. He kept repeating to himself that Mikasa was going to be okay, she’d be fine, because he said so. The similar case his father had in which the person didn’t last long, was probably a rare case, but Mikasa is different. Whatever it is she has, she’d overcome it. _Right?_

**⌘**

It took Mikasa’s parents a week to finally move into town. They quickly settled and Eren was more than enthusiastic to have Armin meet her. 

“Hurry, Armin!” Eren urged. 

“I’m walking at a normal pace, Eren, you’re the one that’s running,” the blonde huffed, “It’s not like she’s going anywhere.” 

Eren knew Armin was right, but still, he wanted to have enough time to show her Armin’s shed. Although he was eighteen and at the cusp of adulthood, there was something about spending time with Armin and Mikasa that filled him with this childlike joy. 

When they finally reached the Ackerman home, Armin took notice of Eren’s light blush tinging his cheeks, as he knocked on the thick wooden door of Mikasa’s new home. Armin also observed the way Eren wiped the sweat of his palms on his shirt as he gawked at Eren in shock, “Eren, are you nervous?” 

Eren’s eyes widened in surprise and he shook his head, “Why would I be-” Before Eren could finish his sentence, Mikasa opened the door and her eyes immediately lit up upon seeing Eren. 

“Eren! I saw you from the window,” she beamed. 

Eren thought he knew what he was there for, but the moment he saw her, he’d forgotten everything he’d planned to say. 

“Hi, I’m Armin,” Armin interjected for Eren’s sake, as he pushed himself forward to shake Mikasa’s hand. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you, Armin,” Mikasa quipped. 

Armin looked at Eren and stuttered an embarrassed, “H-he did?”

“Hmm-mm.”

Armin scratched the temple of his head, and smirked shyly, “I hope they were good things.” 

“They were,” Mikasa assured. 

“We came to take you to Armin’s shed,” Eren enthusiastically spoke. 

Armin quickly became embarrassed and scratched the back of his head, “I don’t know, Eren, my shed isn’t that interesting.” 

“I’ve been stuck at home all day, I don’t mind going,” Mikasa insisted. 

Mikasa’s mouth fell into an “O” when Eren grabbed a hold of her forearm as he eagerly led her out the door. Armin too, stared in surprise when Eren did this. Mikasa timidly glanced at Armin, and Armin just gave her a small smile as he said, “Let’s go.” 

Eren looked forward, and his hand moved from Mikasa’s forearm to her hand. Mikasa squeezed his hand gently and she smiled when she felt Eren squeeze back. She loved the energetic ardor he carried himself in, and she hoped that he would allow her to follow him wherever it was he went, for the rest of her life. 

“Come on, Mikasa! Let’s go!” 

When he said this Mikasa clutched her chest, because his smile shone like the pearls of an oyster caught under the sun, and his green-gray eyes held a burning fire that could probably keep Mikasa warm for an entire winter. 

She knew her legs were moving, but in reality she felt like she was floating on a cloud as this boy held her hand and led her to wherever it was he was taking her. _What was it that she was feeling?_ It was new, it was a little strange, but she welcomed whatever her heart was giving birth to. 

**⌘**

When they reached Armin’s shed, it felt almost like it was Eren’s, instead of his. He knew where everything was and the names of the stuff Armin was working on. Mikasa watched with wondrous eyes as he pointed here, there and a little bit of everywhere. When he was finished he turned to Armin and said, “Armin tell her about what you do in here.” 

Armin just sighed and actually chuckled, “You already did.” 

Eren’s ears became pink at the tip and he covered his eyes with one hand and mumbled an embarrassed, “Sorry.” 

Armin patted his back and laughed, “You forgot about the telescope.” 

“It’s not done, yet,” Eren frowned.

Armin just sighed and mumbled with a lazy grin, “Let’s just say I’m running on two hours of sleep.” 

“You finished the telescope?” 

Armin nodded, and both Eren and Mikasa smiled from ear to ear. They knew what this meant. It meant they would soon go stargazing. 

“Do you guys want to try the telescope tonight?” Armin proposed quietly. 

Both Eren and Mikasa answered at the same time, and so the three spent the rest of the day planning a late night outing.

**⌘**

Mikasa was surprised that her parents were allowing her to go out so late into the night, especially with two guys. The Ackerman’s were a little worried about Mikasa’s health, but knowing that Eren would be with her gave them a sense of security. In the times they’ve seen him interact with Mikasa, they came to appreciate the care and attention he gave their daughter. Upon meeting Armin, they had no qualms over letting Mikasa go enjoy a night of stargazing. 

As they walked to the outskirts of town, near a tree Eren insisted had the best view to watch the stars, Armin lagged behind Eren and Mikasa, and there was no denying the closeness and admiration they held for each other. Armin was truly impressed, because in all his life of knowing Eren, not once did Eren bother to befriend anyone else his age. 

He knew Eren was highly selective of the friends he surrounded himself with, so he figured Mikasa was on the road to becoming someone very special to his friend. When he saw Eren and Mikasa link hands halfway through their journey, did Armin get the confirmation that in fact, Mikasa was taking a unique place in Eren’s heart, and this made Armin feel very happy. 

**⌘**

The tree Eren spoke of was filled with the renewed green leaves spring swelled to bring. Nevertheless, the cold winds of winter seemed to make a visit, as it howled and preyed around them. When Eren saw that Mikasa shivered, he offered to head back home, but she refused. Armin wondered why Eren was very cautious with her well being. Eren kept asking Mikasa if she was tired, or if her head hurt, or just about anything that had to do with her health. He was beginning to think that Eren did this, because perhaps her health wasn’t the best. 

The more he looked at Mikasa, the more he noticed that there was something about her eyes that made her look weary and ready to sleep at any moment. He was going to remember to ask Eren about this later. 

For now, Armin set the telescope on the tripod stand he artfully crafted, and placed his impatient eye to the lens to look at the moon. He saw how brightly it shone and since it was a full moon, the craters and illuminated crevices of the moon were in full display. 

“I got the moon,” Armin piped. 

He glanced up to look at Eren and Mikasa, who impatiently waited. Mikasa stood close to Eren as he took a quick look at the round object that had Armin excited. Eren soon extended an eager hand and exclaimed, “Here, Mikasa, look!” He held her hand and watched as Mikasa slowly placed her eye on the telescope to stare at the moon. 

When she came up, she smiled and gazed at the moon with naked eyes, “She’s beautiful!” Eren agreed with a suspire, “Yes, she is,” saying the words as he stared at Mikasa and not the moon. 

The three sat comfortably under the tree and pretended that every single star was a wish in the sky they could make. Eren wished for him to become an explorer and alongside Armin to climb the highest mountains, delve into the deepest valleys, and swim through the bluest oceans, Armin claimed existed. Nevertheless, as he gazed at Mikasa he wondered if there was something else he wanted to explore instead. 

Mikasa did not complain about the cold, and if it weren’t for Eren brushing his shoulder next to her shivering one, he never would have known. Without thinking he laid his fingers on the soft warm material of the red scarf he was wrapped up in and he told Mikasa, “Here.” 

He thought of simply handing the scarf to her, but something pushed him to do the honors himself. Mikasa didn’t expect for Eren to suddenly wrap the scarf around her. It was everything in the world to her, as she felt the warm cloth trap heat around her neck and keep whatever wind was making her tremble, away. Armin pretended not to see, but from the corner of his eye, he saw everything. 

Finally, Mikasa was warm by the heat of Eren’s scarf and the warmth it carried from his body. They looked into each other’s eyes, and as they did, there was an unspoken truth both communicated in that moment. 

“Warm enough?” Eren asked. 

Mikasa’s eyes looked at Eren as if he were dripping in honey and she nodded a smooth, “Hm-mm.” 

And both resumed to accompany Armin to watch the stars. 

**⌘**

As they made it back into town, Eren walked closely to her. He didn’t want what happened the last time to have a repeat. He hated the idea that a seizure might happen again, but he had to be on the ready in case it did happen. 

They first passed by Armin’s house and dropped him off. Eren and Mikasa tried to ignore the coy smile he gave them as he closed his door. 

They don’t know how it happened, but their hands became linked once again, and slowly Mikasa linked her arm into his. 

“Did you have fun?” Eren asked. 

“Yes,” Mikasa responded. 

“Let me know when you want to go again, I'm sure Armin is more than willing to let me borrow the telescope.” 

“Okay, then.” 

Even though they took the long way to Mikasa’s home, they eventually reached their destination. As they stood in front of the door, Mikasa was halfway from unwrapping the scarf when Eren placed his hands over hers and shook his head, “Keep it,” and he helped her rewrap the scarf again. The light blush and glimmer that dusted Mikasa’s face was undeniably cute to Eren as he did this. 

Mikasa thanked him and stepped back, opening her door ajar. Eren waited for her to enter, and just as she was about to disappear she squeezed her eyes shut and planted a sweet kiss on Eren’s cheek, dumbfounding him completely. 

“Goodnight,” Mikasa rushed, and ran inside. 

The only response Eren gave was the clumsy placement of his hand to his cheek. She was indoors, but he still placed his hand against the wooden door as if he knew she was standing on the other side with her head pressed against it. 

**⌘**

Spring had brought flowers blooming at every corner of town. Everything was new and reawakened, and soon the welcoming of summer was upon the town of Shiganshina. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin spent countless spring nights watching the stars, but on the first day of summer, Armin sat out and urged them to go without him, and so they did.

The sound of cicadas filled the silence of the empty town as Eren and Mikasa made their way to the tree that had become their favorite spot. Never had they gone alone, and they figured this was the reason their palms were perspiring more than usual. As they sat on the grass they looked to the sky and Mikasa whispered, “Eren? How many stars do you think there are?” 

Eren gave a quick glance to the sky and shrugged, “A lot.” 

“Good,” Mikasa sighed. 

It wasn’t cold, in fact it was nice outdoors, but Eren couldn’t ignore the way Mikasa shivered. 

“How are your headaches?” he asked, as he noticed that her scarf was loose around her neck. He turned to her and held his hands out, “Here, let me.” 

“The medicine helps,” Mikasa said, avoiding his gaze as he tightened the scarf snuffly around her, “Thanks.” 

Eren didn’t know if he should believe her, but he knew that if he pressed on he was going to make her feel bad, so he stayed quiet. 

Instead, Eren watched as Mikasa picked the blue-violet flowers around them and she held them in her hand like a bouquet. Eren looked around them and he saw how it was truly just the two of them here… alone. His belly suddenly became a butterfly catcher as he watched how Mikasa picked the flowers. 

The moon was bright enough to illuminate their faces and she looked like the ethereal angel he couldn’t help comparing her to. He took a hold of her hands, and he didn’t know where this action would lead him, but he kept moving forward, as he took a single flower and pushed it between the space between her ears. 

He smiled as he saw the way her cheek burned as the side of his hand brushed against it. As his hand continued to move, he reveled in the feeling of how she froze underneath his palm as he held her chin underneath it. It was like they were stuck in time, as his Adam's apple bopped nervously and shakily... yet he slowly brought his lips towards her. 

They both trembled as they braced for impact, but upon contact they both breathed and melted into each other. The sweet tingle of lip moving against lip gave them a reason to hold on to something they didn’t know existed. Eren wrapped his hand around Mikasa’s waist and he squeezed as she moved her hands to wrap against his back. 

The bouquet of flowers she had picked scattered around them, except for the one that was pinned behind her ear. When they broke the kiss they both mourned for the lack of contact, nevertheless they stared at each other like giddy children who had just discovered the joy of eating sweets. There were no words that those two could say, the eyes that looked into each other saw everything vowels and consonants couldn’t express. Their eyes held a golden shimmer, a hope… a promise they wouldn’t dare break. That first summer night, they seldom watched the stars, nevertheless the stars watched them. 

**⌘**

The next day, Eren pranced to Mikasa’s door. The smile on his face could light the entire town for an entire year. He danced between his toes and heels as he knocked at the door and waited patiently for someone to answer. 

Mrs. Ackerman opened the door, she looked weary, but that didn’t stop her from holding a polite grin towards him. “Eren,” she said. He didn’t have to say why he was here, but still he asked, “Is Mikasa home?” 

Mrs. Ackerman gave him a tiny teasing smile, but it quickly turned to a saddened line. Eren knew what was coming, it was the same feeling he got when he saw the storm clouds approaching, but the storm was yet to arrive. 

“She… she’s been in bed, she can barely open her eyes-” she held a palm to cover her mouth and almost let out a sob, “Even the light bothers her.” 

“Have you told my father?” Eren asked with slight panic. 

“My husband’s on his way for him,” she said. 

Eren looked behind him, to see if by any chance his father would make his appearance, but there was nothing. He then turned to look at Mrs. Ackerman and quietly said, “Can I see her?” Mrs. Ackerman flung the door open and waved him over, “Of course, of course!” 

**⌘**

Eren took in every detail of her room as he stepped inside. He was a deer caught in surprise when he heard a pained groan coming from the far side of the room. Her blinds were shut closed, which was rare because Mikasa loved letting daylight in. 

He reached her bed, as she was on her side with the covers over her head. “Mikasa?” he said with a gentle deep timber. Mikasa shuffled underneath the covers and slowly peeled them down, “Eren?” she croaked with a drowsy smile. Her cheeks were ruddy and he moved his palm to her forehead and felt how it was uncharacteristically warm. He grimaced. 

“Have you been able to sleep?” 

Mikasa shook her head and with a thin spiderwebbed voice she said, “Mom… stayed all night with me… but I couldn’t get any sleep.” 

It hurt him to think that when he was sleeping in the comforts of cloud nine, due to their kiss, she was having an awful night. He felt sick watching her half lidded eyes peer up at him, he wanted to make her feel better, and so he quickly stood up and said, “I’ll be right back,” and walked out the room. 

In an instant, he was back, with a bucket of cool water and cloth wraps to dip inside it. Through weary hooded eyes, did Mikasa look as he rolled his sleeves up to his thick forearms and wrung the cloth. His hands were strong and rough, yet the way he moved her hair back to press the cloth against her forehead felt like he was treating a crystal figurine he didn’t want to break. 

Mikasa sighed and closed her eyes in relief as he did this. She melted into his touch. “Better?” he cooed. She hummed and he smiled as he saw how her contorted face became smooth. He rubbed the top of her head in encouragement, and that’s when he felt the bump. He was quickly overtaken by bewilderment and fear as the malformed lump hid underneath her hair. He pressed the choke that wanted to escape his throat down before it could make its escape. He wasn’t going to cry, not in front of her. He sat at the edge of her bed, and Mikasa’s hand landed on his thigh with her palm facing up. Without a thought, Eren used his free hand to reach for it and he intertwined his fingers with her’s. 

**⌘**

By the time his father arrived, Mikasa was asleep. Eren stepped out of the room and there was a deep frown on his forehead. He stared at his father and all Eren said was, “She’s asleep… she had a fever,” and he walked out the door. 

The summer sun was beginning to make its presence known, and Eren walked around town with this simmering frustrating anger bubbling inside him. He didn’t like the feeling of not being able to do anything. Mikasa looked miserable and all he could do was place a wet cloth over her forehead, for him this action was little to nothing. He didn’t realize that for Mikasa this action alongside his presence was everything she needed for her to fall asleep. 

He sat at the edge of a fountain and he saw all the coins at the bottom of the water. As a kid he’d throw coin after coin, wishing for something to happen, for an adventure that would take him somewhere he’d never been before, but those wishes never came true. 

Still, he dug into his pocket and took out a rusted brown coin. He held it over his thumb’s nail and flicked it as he closed his eyes and made a wish, asking for Mikasa to not live in pain… _he wished that he could take all her pain away._

As he turned around, he accidentally bumped into someone. The stranger didn’t take kindly for his mistake and immediately told him a string of explicit words that weren’t for the faint of heart. Eren laughed, because he really just wanted a reason to punch something to make him forget about the hurt of seeing someone as sweet as Mikasa suffering. 

Every punch he swung to the stranger was him imagining himself fighting the thing that pained Mikasa. This invisible thing that stole her sleep. This thing that made her shiver on a warm day and give her fevers on peaceful nights. Nevertheless, this thing fought back. The stranger soon overpowered him, and threw Eren to the ground and blew fists to his face until he almost fell unconscious. 

For the first time, this was a fight where he couldn’t beat anyone up until someone could be proclaimed victor. This was a silent enemy that wanted to take every part of Mikasa and wilt her petal by petal until she’d be no more. 

Eren hated this, he didn’t want to give up. Who was he fighting? Who could he yell at and force them to stop? Where could he direct his fists to, when there was no one to face? He laid there on the hot cobblestone floor and felt as someone lifted him to his feet. 

“Come on, Eren… let’s take you home,” said Armin.

Eren turned to Armin and slurred, “My home is dying,” and hung his head low as he allowed his friend to carry him through town. 

**⌘**

Carla cleaned Eren’s wounds as he stoically sat on his bed staring vacantly to the wall in front of him. Carla didn’t say anything and she waited for her son to speak, but when he didn’t, she grabbed a rubbing alcohol soaked cotton ball and pressed it to a cut on his hand. Eren hissed and snapped his eyes at his mom, “Ah, that hurt!” 

“Finally, you speak,” Carla smirked and she returned to her gentle wound cleaning. “Now tell me, why’d you get into a fight? You haven’t done that in years.” 

Eren looked away from his mother and remained silent. Carla released a heavy sigh as she moved to sit next to him. She held her son’s face and moved his hair away from his forehead, “You need a haircut.” 

Eren’s hair was just slightly surpassing the nape of his neck. He’d never really had short hair, but this was the first time that he didn’t bother with cutting it, especially when Mikasa complimented it once. She’d told him that if he kept it up, he’d soon have hair long enough to put up in a bun, and then she tried to imagine him in one, and at one point tried to tie his hair, but it wasn’t long enough to hold. They both had a good laugh that time. Mikasa for the mess she made of his hair, and Eren by watching as she folded over in fits of laughter. 

Eren looked at his mother and shook his head with a lazy saddened smile, “Mikasa likes it.” 

Carla rubbed his head and pinched his cheek lovingly when he said this, which made Eren redden. And with a soft content smile, she asked, “You really like this girl, don’t you?” 

Eren stayed quiet and looked at the dried blood in his hand and whispered, mostly to himself than to his mother, “It’s more than liking her… I love her.” 

Eren frowned at admitting such a bare feeling and then he looked to his mother who continued to smile as she brought him in for a hug. Eren let himself be cradled by her and muttered, “What do I do with this love, mom… tell me? How can I feel special when all I can do is watch her writhe in pain?” 

Carla continued to pet his hair back as she candidly said, “Be there for her and let her know that you want to be there. The thing that can make someone feel special is love, Eren.” 

Eren rested his head on her lap and she smoothed his hair over and over and he quietly asked, “Dad will make her better, right?” 

“Your father will do whatever he can, of that you can be sure,” she responded. 

Carla looked at her son sentimentally. Her son was in love, and she asked herself how it was that her little boy became a man. She remained in his room until he fell asleep and she made sure to have a long talk with her husband over the condition of Mikasa. _Is it all really how Grisha says it is? Is there no other way for this sweet girl to live a long life?_ Carla wondered. 

**⌘**

Mikasa had fallen asleep under Eren’s touch. She did not understand how this boy that she’d known for a couple of months held such an affect on her. When she first saw him, he looked strong, like he spent his time outdoors running to and fro. There was a small part of her that envied him. No, maybe it wasn’t envy she felt, but a frustration for falling behind, and not being able to keep up. 

Eren wanted to be an explorer, someone who discovered and lived, and enjoyed living to the fullest. Someone like him couldn’t stand by someone like her. Some time back, she was filled with strength and she would’ve been able to climb the mountains he wanted to climb and swim the mythical oceans Armin theorized about. 

Right now, as she was bed ridden from a headache that barely allowed her to open her eyes, she felt like the shell of the girl she used to be. A simple walk to the woods had her winded and struggling to catch her breath.

Eren and Armin were very kind to walk at her pace and sometimes they’d even make silly excuses for them to make random stops on their way to the tree where they would stargaze. She knew that this was all to have her rest and be as comfortable as possible, and not for Eren to tie his shoe for the tenth time, or for Armin to stop and stretch. She really enjoyed their company. Those two boys who felt like worlds apart, but somehow shared a path they enjoyed to walk on. 

Last night, when she got home, she couldn’t stop thinking about the way Eren had kissed her with such tenderness and want. To be touched the way he touched her with his lips, planted a seed inside her heart, and this seed was taking root inside her, curving at her flesh and refusing to move anywhere but up. The name for this root was something she read about in her mother’s favorite romance novels, it had the same number of letters as Eren’s name and she was falling way deep into it. 

However, as she laid her head upon the pillow with the heart of a girl slowly falling for a cute boy, her head suddenly felt like it was going to split in two. She called for her parents and they did everything they could to make the pain go away. The medicine Mr. Yeager gave her ran out and it was so late into the night that they just couldn’t go bother him at such an unholy hour. Mikasa lied to her parents and told them she was fine. She didn’t want to worry them and have them also losing a night of sleep. 

She wanted to scream and cradle herself away from the needles in her head that she was feeling. She wondered how her body could betray her like that. She was tired, so very tired, and nothing in the world brought her any relief. 

It wasn’t until Eren showed up. When he laid his hand upon her forehead, she felt like she could breathe again. She was air and she didn’t feel tired and heavy under the splitting agony her head was putting her through. When she woke up, she looked for him, but he wasn’t there. She wondered if perhaps he was waiting outside, and with a ray of hope guiding her to the door, she strode out her room. 

However, she stopped when she heard a low mumble of voices. It was her parents and Eren’s father. Her mother held a tearful face as she held a mournful hand over her mouth, and her father supported his forehead with his fist. She was about to run out and ask what was wrong, but then her mother asked, “How long does she have?” 

Mikasa stood by the half open door and her stomach dropped when she realized they were speaking about her. _How long does she have?_ What did her mother mean by this? 

Grisha held a grim face, he hated to be the bearer of bad news, but he knew that it’d be irresponsible to withhold the truth. He started off speaking like a doctor with technical medical terms, but at the end he spoke like a parent. 

“I’ve sent letters to colleagues who’ve treated similar cases to Mikasa’s, you know… people with similar symptoms, similar lumps… or tumors around the head. When this lump is large enough it means it’s been rapidly developing. The lump causes pressure on the brain-” 

“Dr. Yeager, just tell us what happened to these people?” Mr. Ackerman sounded pained as he asked this, but this was the question Mikasa’s parents wanted to know. They were terrified by what could happen to their little girl. 

Dr. Yeager gripped his hands over his knees and looked at them with the face you give to someone that was about to hear the worst news of their lives. “The patients typically lasted three to six months at most.” 

Mikasa’s mother yelped as she buried her face into her husband’s chest. Mikasa didn’t step out of the room, instead she quietly closed the door and pressed her back to it, as she slowly let herself slide to the ground. She buried her face into her knees and wept, because there was so much she wanted to do, so much she wanted to experience in this life, and worst of all, where was Eren?

**⌘**

Eren woke up early in the morning. The sun hadn’t completely risen and the sound of chirping birds filled his room with their pleasant melodies. He looked at his hand and balled it into a fist with difficulty. He winced as he unconsciously ran a hand over his face and he felt the numbing bruises from the punches he’d received. 

He wondered to himself if he simply started throwing punches, just so the person could become angry enough to throw them back at him. Why did he want to feel pain at this moment? Why did he have the urge to run to Mikasa and tell her that they were both worn out bodies now. 

Eren was halfway through the hallway when he heard his parents talking, and immediately he stopped to listen. 

“I spoke to Mikasa’s parents,” his father said glumly. 

Eren could hear the way his mother stopped doing what she was doing to approach him, and she was quick to ask, “What did you tell them?” 

“The truth. I told them what the typical prognosis is for people with their daughter’s condition.” Eren heard the scraping of a chair, as his mother sat on the table, “Grisha, tell me… how long does that girl have?” Silence filled the room. 

Eren pressed his injured fist against the wall as he waited for his father to answer, but all Grisha did was sigh heavily, as he pleadingly said, “Carla…” 

Eren stomped away from the hallway and he stood in front of his parents, gritting his teeth angrily, “Tell me, how much time does she have left?” 

Eren held an incandescent face and he didn’t care that his parent’s stared at him wildly. Grisha’s eyes softened and looked at his son just how one stares at a wounded animal, and softly said, “Eren, I told you she was sick.” 

“How long?” Eren gritted, as he pressed his fist to the thick wooden table. Carla stood from the table and walked towards Eren as she reached to remove his fists away from it. Carla stared at Grisha and with tearful eyes implored, “Be honest with your son, Grisha.” 

Grisha dug his nails into his palms as he looked away and muttered, “Most of these cases don’t go over six months.” He turned to his son and lamented the fading light he saw in his son’s eyes. Carla clasped her hand over her mouth to stop her wail from coming out and held her son, as he stumbled on his feet. 

Grisha quickly stood up to pull a chair for him and he just couldn’t look at his son when Eren croaked, “Did you know this?” Grisha rubbed his hand over his mouth and uttered, “I had my suspicions.” 

Eren’s voice became broken glass as he asked, “Why’d you let me become friends with her when you knew this?” 

“Eren… you’ve always known how these things end.” 

Tears pooled out of his eyes and Carla wrapped his arms around his son, as she let him sob out his sorrow. Eren couldn’t control the tears that flowed to accompany his misery, because his father was right. Mikasa held the same face those ill people carried when there was not much time left. He always pictured an invisible sand clock on top of their heads, and when he saw Mikasa for the first time, he saw the same clock over her, but he ignored it. 

“I want to make her happy,” Eren wailed into his mother’s arms, “I want to make her the happiest girl in the world.” 

Grisha didn’t know what to tell him and he too joined Carla in holding him, he himself was shedding tears. He’d seen many of his patients come and go, but never had he felt anger and sadness to see a life that had impacted his son’s life so much, wilt before his eyes. 

“I won’t let her die like this! I’ll make her happy, you hear me? I’ll make her smile, always!” And Eren sobbed as his parents wrapped him in their arms. 

**⌘**

Eren rummaged through his closet and took out his best clothes. He wore some black slacks and his favorite green shirt, the one with the strings around the collar, he really loved that shirt. He then walked out of his room and announced to his parents that he will be out the entire day, and as he walked out the door he took a handful of flowers from his neighbor’s garden and strutted down the road leading towards Mikasa’s house. Every step he took was a testament to the promise he made to himself to make Mikasa the happiest girl in the world. 

Eren Yeager felt possessed by the power of love. He was sky high, and no self doubt dared to bring him down. No sickness, no race against time. Nothing would knock him from the cloud he stood on. He will make a day for Mikasa, feel like a year of bliss. If there was something about Eren, it was that he kept a promise, if that promise was ‘an always and forever,’ he would deliver. The little light that shone in his soul, he was going to make it shine loud and bright, enough for the both of them. 

“Get ready, Mikasa, I’m coming,” he told himself as he turned the corner to reach her door. 

He stood in front of her home, swept his hair out of his face, just for it to go back to its place, and with one swift breath he knocked on the door holding his world. 

Mr. Ackerman opened the door and Eren looked him right in the eye and declared, “I’m here to ask if I could take your daughter on a date.” A fearful boy he never was, and right now, a fearless man asked the father of the woman he loved for permission to court her. 

Mr. Ackerman stood blank faced and blinked his eyes in disbelief. Slowly, he stepped back and extended his hand in invitation. Eren felt like a king as he stepped inside and smiled at Mrs. Ackerman, who heard everything, and therefore she gawked at him. 

“So can I?” he asked Mr. and Mrs. Ackerman. They both stared at each other and then at Eren. 

“What?” Eren asked, a little worried.

“She hasn’t stepped out all morning,” Mrs. Ackerman informed, “If you can make her come outside, you can go on a date with her.” 

Mr. Ackerman covered his mouth and grimaced, “I’ve been knocking all day, she’s never done anything like this before.” 

Eren looked confused and he walked to Mikasa’s door and knocked gently, “Mikasa… it’s me, Eren.” 

She didn’t answer, but Eren heard the sound of scurrying feet against the wooden floorboards running away from the door. With a heavy sigh, he realized she wasn’t going to open the door. 

“I’ll be right back,” Eren informed, and he hurried out the door. 

Eren stopped at her window and grabbed a few pebbles to throw at the glass. He pelted them lightly, to get her attention, but still, there was no answer. He twisted his mouth as his mind ran with a dozen ways he was going to get her to step out. He was as tall as the window and he barely managed to look inside when he stood on his tippy toes. 

Nevertheless, he was quick to grab a wooden crate to stand on, and finally he was able to see inside the room. He smirked when he saw how Mikasa ran to hide from him under the covers of her bed. 

He knocked on the window and yelled, “I’m asking you out on a date! Your mom and dad are okay with it, as long as you come outside your room! Get ready, I’ll be waiting outside your house! I brought you flowers!” 

He stepped off the wooden crate and he walked to the front of her home to sit on the steps. He held the flowers in his hand as he rested his elbows on his thighs. He waited and waited, but never did he doubt she wouldn’t come out. He knew she would. After about fifteen minutes he heard the click of her doorknob turn. He gulped, feeling the swagger he carried since morning falter slightly. Okay, maybe he was a little nervous. 

“Eren…” she said ever so softly. 

Eren slowly turned around to find a more than beautiful sight before him. Mikasa wore a white long sleeved dress that reached a little over her knees, with a deep blue cape tied around her shoulders. Eren gulped and closed his mouth as he felt his words escape him. 

“Mikasa…” he mumbled. 

He held the flowers towards her and Mikasa blushed when she took a hold of them. Eren stuck his elbow out and waited for her to take it. He’d seen this action many times with his dad and mom, so he figured he’d do this with her. It actually felt natural to him to offer his elbow to Mikasa. 

Mikasa brought her lips together and reached to twist her arm into his. She suddenly craned her neck up to him and whispered close to his ear, “My mom wants to know what happened to your face… and so do I.” 

Eren stopped walking and remembered that he held a bruise on his cheek and that his hand was still a little busted. He just shook his head and said, “I fell down.” 

Mikasa looked at his fist and brought the broken skin to her lips as she whispered, “You don’t have to do any of this, Eren.” 

Eren admired the tender way she held him and muttered an, “Okay.” 

It was then that Eren noticed that Mikasa’s eyes were puffy, like she’d been crying. He rubbed her cheek and murmured, “Couldn’t sleep?” 

Mikasa looked away and got a hold of his hand as she squeezed it, she was close to crying, and Eren pulled her in and held her to his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. He didn’t care that the townspeople were looking at them, and murmuring behind their hands. 

He held Mikasa’s chin and made her look at him as he whispered, “You look very pretty.” He waited for her reaction and he smirked when he saw how her face slowly became overtaken by a cute pink hue. He gulped and delicately leaned in for a kiss. He clearly surprised her because she gasped as he took her lips into his. 

He felt the tear that slid down her cheek traverse to his cheek, and he broke the kiss to find that Mikasa was shedding tears. “I can’t do this to you, Eren… I’m sorry!” she sobbed. She was about to walk away, but Eren took a firm grip of her forearm, and echoed, “Why’d you come out of your room, then?” 

“I shouldn’t have done that,” she muttered. Eren stood in front of her and refused to break eye contact with her as he divulged, “You came out because you want this, Mikasa. You feel it… don’t you? You feel the same way I feel about you… right?” 

Mikasa’s mouth was shaky as she whimpered, “I’m dying… I don’t have much to live, if I become a stranger to you then my parting won’t hurt you! It won’t hurt me...” 

Eren heaved as he looked to the sky, he shook his head and ran his tongue over his bottom lip as he moved to hold Mikasa’s face firmly, “Be it a year, be it a month, an hour, even a second, I don’t have anywhere else to be, but with you. Don’t you get it? Mikasa… I love you.” He wiped the tear that slid down Mikasa’s cheek and he kissed the very spot the tear had just touched. Mikasa bore her smoky grays into his piercing green-gray eyes and their eyelids came into a languid fluttering close as they kissed each other. 

Mikasa felt that there was strength in this love, so much strength it felt like a miracle, a blessing that was made just for her brought by some angel that came in the form of Eren. She laughed and a smile grew on her face as she wrapped her arms around Eren’s neck. He wrapped his hands around her waist and they kissed in the middle of the town square with passing people looking at the young lovers declare their love to each other. 

**⌘**

Eren and Mikasa walked hand in hand through town. They both carried puffy swollen eyes paired with a wide joyful smile. Eren took her to their local bakery and bought a little bit of everything. Afterwards, Mikasa and Eren sat on a bench overlooking the fountain and ate their pastries gleefully. 

Mikasa would offer some of her powdered sugared donut to him, and even though he held the same pastry in his hand, he would obligingly take a bite from her’s. Mikasa would giggle when he’d get powdered sugar at the corner of his lip and she'd kiss the excess sugar away. Once she figured Eren was doing this on purpose she pretended to be appalled by his _conniving_ way of getting her to kiss him. She looked at the powdered donut in her hand and spread the sugar on his lips and went in for a passion filled kiss that left him breathless. _That’ll teach him,_ Mikasa thought. 

They spent the day like this: kissing, holding hands, and staring at each other like the sun came out of their eyes. Every now and then, Eren asked Mikasa if she was tired, in case being out all day was too draining on her. Mikasa would just look at him and smile. He just couldn’t get enough of that smile, and what made him love that smile even more, was that it was just for him. 

“Let’s go ask Armin if he wants to watch the stars tonight,” she suggested. 

Eren nodded, and they were about to walk, but then Eren stepped in front of her and bendt down. 

“What?” Mikasa gasped as Eren’s back was right below her. 

“I’ll carry you on my back,” he stated matter-of-fact. Mikasa hid her face behind her fingertips and laughed. 

She then moved and pressed her chest to his back and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and she quietly enjoyed the way his hands slipped under her bare thighs to pick her up. He turned his neck to give her a quick kiss on her temple and quickly turned to face forward. 

She relished watching him from this new angle. From here, she could see how sharp his jaw was, and how the little pin needles of facial hair fought to come out through the surface of his skin. _He was a man, but the traces of the boy he was were still there,_ she marvelled. 

She snuggled close to his back and Eren squeezed the bottom of her thighs, and there was nowhere else the two wanted to be, but with each other. 

**⌘**

Armin was more than willing to accompany them and he noticed that Mikasa and Eren were closer than usual. He just nodded towards their linked hands and smiled. Eren and Mikasa noticed his staring and became a little shy, but then Eren took a brave deep breath and said, “Armin... Mikasa and I-” 

Armin held his hand out to stop Eren from talking and just happily sighed, “You don’t have to explain, Eren, it was pretty obvious.” Both Mikasa and Eren gawked at each other and then at Armin, “Really?” they said in unison. Armin just scratched his nose nervously and shrugged, “Yes, really.” 

Mikasa and Eren looked at each other and grinned, then Mikasa took a hold of Armin’s elbow and the three were on their way to the tree they loved. 

**⌘**

The summer breeze picked up and it blew the trio’s hair in a flurried disarray. As they tried to fix their hair, Mikasa looked at Armin and asked, “Hey, Armin… what do you think happens after death?” 

Both Armin and Eren were surprised by this question. Eren’s eyes immediately became glossy and Armin understood that he must be careful in how he answered her question. “Hmm,” Armin pondered as he scratched the tip of his chin, “For starters, I don’t think it all ends just like that. My grandfather… says he always dreams of my grandmother. He’s lived an entire life without her, and when I ask him if he misses her, he says she’s always with him... in the wind, the clouds, the water. He claims that she’s waiting for him patiently, and that when he dies he will join her. I don’t know what happens after death Mikasa... _but_ maybe it’s an eternity with those you love.” 

Eren cleared his throat, and sighed as he wiped his eye, “Yeah, that’s what happens,” he reassured Mikasa. Armin turned to the sky and cheerfully smiled, as he tried to get his friend’s mood up, “Of course that happens! Do you think we never see those we loved in life ever again? It’s not a goodbye, it’s more of a… see you later.” 

“A see you later…” Mikasa repeated. She felt comfortable upon hearing this, but then she grimaced and puckered her face as she fanned herself. Eren immediately stood up and rubbed her back. “What’s wrong?” he asked with deep concern. 

“I feel a little dizzy,” she muttered. Eren held her hand and told her to take deep breaths, and muttered something about the powdered sugar donuts under his breath. “Let’s have her lie down, Eren,” Armin suggested. Eren nodded and helped Mikasa lie down on the grass. He had her head rest on his lap and he gently moved her bangs away from her face. Mikasa peered up at him and Eren muttered, “Do you feel better?” Mikasa nodded and mouthed a “Thank you,” to him. 

Armin sighed and he turned his back to them and with defeat he said, “Just do it, you can pretend I’m not here.” Mikasa was about to giggle, but Eren quickly stopped her by giving her an upside down peck on the lips. 

“You can turn around, Armin,” Eren happily announced. 

**⌘**

As the summer months wore on and the temperature increased, Eren spent every moment he could with Mikasa. Without having to step outside his door, Eren felt like he was travelling far and wide. A quiet day spent at her home watching her embroider was heaven for him. A morning gardening with her gave him a thrill like no other. He felt that her love found him and guided him out of the dread and darkness he previously found himself on. 

When before he’d be bored to death staring at the ceiling in his room, he now felt like he was on top of the moon watching the same ceiling with his girl by his side. At first he didn’t understand how this could be. _How could one person do this to him?_ She made it so he felt like he could be at the gates of hell, but as long as she was there, he’d have the kingdom come gently grabbing at his hand. 

This is what Mikasa’s love made possible. This is what scared him. Who will he become when she’d be taken from him? Will he become an empty crypt, will he live his life walking as a dead man? Will he go running after her? It was so wrong, how dependent he’d become of her, and he knew this. 

For now, he wouldn’t fret, she was right beside him and he would hold on to her until the very last second of her life. How long though? How long will she be here with him staring vacantly at the ceiling for? 

He hated parting from her already. He hated waiting until morning to see her. He wanted her mornings, her nights, her innocence, her mystery, her madness, her passion, her, her, _her, until he’d fade into her and he’d be no more._

**⌘**

The hints of brown spreading through the green leaves, hinted at the arrival of fall. The warm evenings they became accustomed to, where soon to be a thing of the past. Warm chocolate, cozy blankets, and a toasty red scarf became more than welcomed. 

As Mikasa and Eren sat with a thick blanket, underneath the last traces of a summer sunset upon them, they kissed atop the familiar patch of grass. The two starstruck lovers soon became engulfed in a warm golden hue, and Eren soon found himself wrapping his large palms around Mikasa’s face as he smiled in between the kiss. He wanted to kiss her forever, even though he knew forever was the last thing they had. 

They sat against the tree and Eren wrapped his hand around her back and brought her close to his chest as they watched the sun disappear over the horizon. They saw as one by one the stars in the sky twinkled and shone just for them. 

Eren would kiss the top of her head every now and then, and whisper sweet nothings against her ear, and Mikasa would smile every time he’d do this. She then stretched her arm and pointed up to the night sky as she breathlessly muttered, “For every star that appears, it’s an I love you… don’t forget that Eren.” 

Eren peered up at the sky and his mouth fell into an open smile as he saw how there were hundreds, no- thousands and thousands of stars in the dark sky. He cradled Mikasa’s chin underneath his fingertips and brought her in for another kiss. He then tightened the scarf around her neck, moved the thick blanket to cover her chin, and gave her a sweet peck on her cheek. He loved the way her hand wrapped around his torso and brought him closer to her. He too, moved his long limbs to wrap around her and the two held each other, underneath the heavenly celestial body that twinkled just for them. 

“Mikasa?” Eren muttered as his chest thumped against his chest. 

“Hm-mm,” Mikasa hummed. 

“Marry me?” Eren uttered the words before he could cower behind his fear, and he closed his eyes as he waited for an answer. 

Mikasa didn’t answer, instead she tightened her grip on his torso and slowly pushed herself up. Eren felt the way she held his face between her hands, but he refused to open his eyes. He felt how Mikasa’s nose dug light circles into his cheek as she trailed light kisses from his cheek down to his jaw line, until she reached the tip of his lips. 

He felt how her breath hovered over his lips and he frowned, as he whispered, “Mikasa… answer me.” 

Mikasa kissed him and in between the kiss she hummed a light, “Yes, Eren, yes.”

Eren felt how her tears ran a river to his own cheek and he opened his eyes to look into her and he smiled as he ran his thumb over her cheek. 

**⌘**

The ceremony was small. It was just their parents and Armin. They couldn’t think of anyone else that could be there, really. 

Mikasa was a beauty in white. Her dress was befitting of a young bride and it was a dress she wore beautifully. The arms were sheer white, and a soft ethereal material covered her waning curves and porcelain skin. 

Eren’s mom insisted on doing her hair and she did a wonderful job arranging blushing pink and white roses around Mikasa’s veil. Carla smiled and complimented her over and over again. Mrs. Ackerman couldn’t hold her tears back as she helped Mikasa smooth her dress. Both mothers cried, for many reasons, especially for the inevitable truth that loomed over them. 

They asked themselves why was it that the happiest moment in their children’s life could be marred with tragedy? _How long_ , they wondered… how long will their children have this wedded bliss for, before it will cruelly be snatched from them. 

Mikasa hugged them both, and she held her tears from them. She smiled and went to her father who waited outside the room. She tangled her arm into his and they prepared for the once in a lifetime march towards Eren. 

At the end of the aisle, Eren waited with sweaty palms, nicely combed hair, and a pocket full of dreams. The ceremony was sweet and short, as they both promised each other to remain together, even as death threatened to tear them apart. 

He promised he would keep her safe, no matter what storm tried to rage within her… _he would keep her safe_. Mikasa promised to give Eren the soundness and peace he never knew he craved, a safety he didn’t know could be held within her arms. In all, they promised to fill whatever vacant spaces they held, and put down their love in the softest, most tender way in front of those who cared and loved them. The seal of a kiss was all they needed to make it official in the eyes of the law. 

When they kissed, they looked into each other’s eyes, and the look they held spoke enough words to fill the blank pages of a book. Both smiled as they slowly walked out to the eager applause of their family, which slowly fell to a low staccato as they walked towards their future together. 

**⌘**

When they walked through the door of their new home, hand in hand, they were nervous, but soon an electrified arousal bloomed within them. Eren looked at Mikasa dressed in white and he saw how she nervously took her lip in between her teeth and he felt himself falling in love all over again. His fingers rested on her veil, and he tenderly moved to take it off, and set it on the table as he brought her closer to him. 

“You’re beautiful,” he murmured huskily, “You’re always so beautiful,” and he gently brought his hand to cup her cheek and the other to her back. Mikasa looked up at him and mouthed a hushed, “I love you,” and Eren was quick to take her mouth into his. His fingers soon crawled to the buttons of her dress and slowly unbuttoned it. He gulped with a flurry of emotions as the dress which made her look like an innocent angel, soon slipped away from her body. 

Every piece of clothing they wore soon became nonexistent. Mikasa couldn’t look away as Eren’s blazing eyes slowly raked the naked expanse of her body as they met with her blushing face. It felt good for Mikasa to have Eren’s fingers grazing her, even if her words were failing her at the moment, she hoped that Eren could feel how much she loved him. 

That night, Eren became an explorer. That night he spent the hours discovering the mountains and valleys of Mikasa’s body. He drank in her moans and whimpers as if it were sweet nectar to his ravished soul. Their hands roamed and explored every corner and extension of their bodies, dipping and holding on to parts the sun never dared to touch.

Gasps and the muttering chorus of ‘I love you,’ filled every corner of the newlyweds shared home, as they poured and took every ounce of their love into each other’s aching hearts and limbs. They clung to every trembling limb and shaky breath, as they rode each other to a high that exceeded the clouds above. 

For Eren, never had he thought of navigating and tasting the waters of her core, as she grasped and tugged at his hair, and never did he think that something like this could be more than enough to quench his wild free heart. 

That night he was reborn over and over again as he and Mikasa became one. For Mikasa, this night would be unforgettable, she was made to feel like a woman from the tip of her toes to the top of her head by the man who’d taken her to see the stars and the galaxies beyond from the comfort of her bedroom. 

They were passionate, they were silly, they were fools in love, and if the sea were filled with what they felt for each other, they’d gladly drown in it. 

**⌘**

Fall took its seat at the forefront. It was a flurry of sweetness, warmth, and the grim reminder that everything wasn’t okay. Mikasa slowly began to have a hard time being herself. It started with her losing sleep at night, and no matter how hard she tried, the simple task of closing her eyes into unconsciousness, soon became almost impossible. 

The dark circles under her eyes became prominent and gave her this tired, drowsy look that took away the steady fire that usually burned within them. At times, it felt like she’d fall from sheer exhaustion, and therefore Eren always kept the eye of a hawk on her when she’d walk around the house. The nights she’d have a hard time sleeping, Eren would stay up with her, and rock her in his arms, cooing soft gentle words of comfort, until he’d feel her go soft with sleep. 

Even if it was an hour or two, he’d make sure she’d get some sleep every single night, because that’s who Eren Yeager was. He was the kind of guy to put others above him, no matter how much of a toll it took on him. Mikasa knew this, and therefore she’d do everything in her part to make everything easy on him, which in turn made everything easier on her. 

She’d take her medicine, and she’d follow whatever Eren said, since Eren followed everything his father said. The time Eren didn’t spend with Mikasa, he’d spend in his father’s office. Patients soon became used to seeing Eren during their appointments. He’d sometimes be in the background reading a textbook and absorbing whatever knowledge there was about anything and everything that could possibly help Mikasa. 

Mikasa took his growing knowledge as an act of love, because she knew he was doing this for her. Eren slowly stopped seeing his father’s patients as poor suckers with bad luck, and instead saw them as people fighting for their lives, because this is how he saw Mikasa. He saw her as a fighter, who wasn’t going to be taken down by illness so easily. 

He admired the way she kept her routine and didn’t waver even as she was being slowly consumed by the pain her headaches brought her. What he admired even more was that even through it all, she smiled, and not once did he feel it was forced. What he failed to understand was that it was always a genuine natural reaction she had every time, simply because he walked into the room. 

For Mikasa, Eren Yeager was someone that inspired her to fight. He was a fire that she wanted to be consumed by, and she felt it in her bones that even if they were to part, someway, somehow, they’d remain together tied by a bond no one, or nothing could dare break. _How could she make him understand that whatever path they took, even if it were destined to diverge at some point, they’d always meet at the end?_ All she wanted to do was to make Eren feel her love and keep him safe within her arms. 

Therefore, she held onto him, as he held on to her. It was this mutual connection they shared. She gave and received, and vice versa. The nights in which she’d wake up, and he’d still be sound asleep, she’d kill those hours by staring at him. With his face against her chest, ear pressed against her beating heart, she’d slowly run her hands through his now long hair, and take delight in the calm sigh he’d release. She loved him, she really loved him, and she couldn’t believe that someone with such blazing fire could lie peacefully within her arms. 

**⌘**

Mikasa saw the barren trees outside her window as she held a warm cup of hot chocolate in between her hands. The clouds above had grown gray and she was waiting for Eren to appear through the door at any second. He went to chop wood for a fire, and though she insisted on going with him, he wouldn’t allow it. She missed going to sit underneath the tree to stargaze, but winter was fast approaching and snow was expected soon. 

Nonetheless, she grew bored sitting at home, and so she grabbed a sweater and a thick blanket to take outside to wait for her husband to return. As she did this she became saddened at the way her hand trembled without reason, and she looked at how bony and thin her wrists had gotten in the last few weeks. She didn’t feel like an eighteen year-old woman, and instead felt much older and way more tired than her actual age. 

She sighed, and wrapped herself up, and headed outdoors. She sat on a bench right outside the door and she looked to the sky. Her eyes suddenly grew wide and giddy as the first drops of snow began to fall. She then leisurely held her hand out and smiled as the snow slowly collected at the palm of her hand. She wondered if this was going to be the last snowfall she’d witnessed, therefore she made sure to take in every detail and feeling of the cold. 

“What are you doing out here?” Eren sighed as he approached her with a bundle of wood strapped to his back. His cheeks were ruddy as a result of hours of cold wind slapping his face, but they quickly became warm with the sight of his wife. 

“I was waiting for you,” Mikasa grinned. 

Eren put down the wood and moved to join her on the bench. He was quick to wrap his arms around her and kissed her temple and said, “Let’s go inside.” 

“I want to see the snow,” Mikasa murmured, as she took his hand in between hers. 

Eren looked to the sky and hummed, “I don’t want you to freeze.” 

Mikasa laid her head upon his shoulder and muttered, “Keep me warm then.” 

Eren grinned and gave her a coy teasing smile, “Out here?” 

Mikasa gasped and hid her face into his chest and Eren rubbed her back up and down as he chuckled. However, he quickly stopped rubbing her back when she said, “Fine… let’s go inside.” 

The wood was left forgotten outside the door, as Eren picked Mikasa up and quickly brought her indoors. Once he closed the door, he pressed her against a wall and looked down at her with lust filled eyes as he kissed her while his other hand worked on unbuttoning her blouse. 

A deep red blush spread across their cheeks as they slowly became undressed and the view of their naked bodies, no matter how many times they’ve seen them, was always welcomed with a delighted sigh and smile. 

Eren loved running his hands over Mikasa’s body. He loved watching how the goosebumps pricked at her skin underneath his touch and the small way her more sensitive body parts twitched in the most enticing ways. Though he hated watching her writhe in pain, he absolutely adored watching her writhe in pleasure. 

In Mikasa’s end, she enjoyed how Eren’s taut skin would tighten when her fingers grazed his muscles and the most hypersensitive extension of his body. She loved wrapping herself around him and squeezing every drop out of him, and the groans and moans he’d let his sinful mouth slip, was always music to her ears. 

The coming of winter welcomed many, many, passion filled nights. They engraved every body part, every look, and moan they’d make, and filled their minds with the lustful scenarios they took part of. 

It was love, it was passion, it was sweet, sweet love those two made all night, _most nights._

**⌘**

They spent the winter burning their love into each other’s skin, melting the snow that sat out the window. They were a husband and a wife that were deeply in love and every second they had was meant for each other. Eren would hold Mikasa every night tightly in his arms and this was the only way he could sleep. 

It hurt him every time though, because he felt how she slowly grew thinner and weaker, nonetheless he would never hesitate to engrave in gold every moment with her into his skin. 

The cold months were hard. Mikasa stopped eating full meals, and when she’d eat, it wasn’t surprising for her to throw up the meal. With the weeks, her face became gaunt and paler than her usual complexion. There were times in which she’d stand in front of the mirror and run a shaky hand over her face and the tears were sure to fall. 

She was careful to not let Eren see her weep over something so vain. She was never one to take importance into her looks, but seeing her life slowly dwindling before her eyes was too much for her, at times.

Eren would always be so gentle with her when he’d catch her doing this. It had become a habit of his to not leave her at her lonesome for too long. He knew she liked her alone time, and he respected that, but he also knew that she’d enter these depressive episodes if she was left alone for too long.

“Look at me,” she’d whimper, “I’m all skin and bones...” 

Eren would simply bury his nose into her hair and wrap his strong arms around her as they watched themselves through the mirror and tell her, “Mikasa, whatever it is you become, I’ll always love you.”

Whenever Mikasa felt at her lowest, she’d look to Eren and ask, “Wrap the scarf around me, please Eren?” 

And he’d always yield to this request, any request of her’s really. He’d turn her around to face him and he’d coil the red material around her neck and kiss her forehead and lips every time. 

“Warm?” he’d ask. 

She would just nod her head with these rosy cheeks that flowered within her. This was the only way Eren succeeded in bringing color to her face, and therefore he never failed to keep the promise of wrapping the scarf around her neck. 

At night he’d press her to his chest and his breath would involuntarily hitch at the feel of her now protruding bones. He knew that Mikasa was becoming self conscious about her body, and therefore in their intimate moments, he’d pepper kisses to those parts she thought were becoming unsightly. She’d gaze at him with teary eyes as she saw how he would trace lines with his sweet inviting lips from her collar bones to her shoulders to her fingertips, all the way down to her navel until he’d finally reach her toes. Every one of those kisses he’d pepper would be followed with a whispered, “Beautiful.” Because he truly believed that no matter what, Mikasa was beautiful, and to her, it always felt like his kisses were tattooing the word into her bones. 

Eren would then rest his head on her chest and take comfort in the familiar sound of her heartbeat, and he’d be lulled by the way she’d run her fingernails through his scalp. This was how he slept in the last months of her life. Every single time he’d wish that he could fade himself into her, because he didn’t want to think of a time he’d be parted from her. 

Every sunrise, Eren remained with his ear pressed to her heart. He’d smile and whisper a quiet thanks for having her another day, and then proceed to watch as the sun rays would hit her skin making her body become overtaken by a golden halo. And no matter how many times he saw this, he truly felt special being a witness to her every morning. 

**⌘**

The snow that covered the grass, showed signs of melting. Spring was on the horizon, and Eren was excited to once again walk with Mikasa to the tree they so loved. Eren mentioned this to Mikasa, who was trying to get to him from the kitchen, however, his mouth soon fell into a saddened line, as he saw how she struggled to walk around her own home. 

During the winter time, Grisha had become a common visitor, as Mikasa’s body was rapidly deteriorating. Her seizures had increased and her headaches had gotten worse, and no matter how many times she told Eren she was fine, he soon stopped believing her, but for her sake, he claimed he did. He wished things were different, but at the same time he treasured every second he spent with her.

He’d look at her when she wasn’t aware, and he felt incredibly lucky to have her. He’d take in every detail of her, especially those details she wasn’t aware of. Like the amused glossy eyed look she’d get when she’d eat something sweet, or the innocent look he’d give him when she’d look up from embroidering. 

Mikasa too, enjoyed every small detail of Eren. Like the way he smiled with his mouth open baring all his teeth, or the determined way he’d put his hair up as his biceps contorted. She also loved his sweet intoxicating smell and the way he’d follow her with his green/gray eyed gaze. It all was becoming the small details with them.

As Eren saw the fresh green blades of grass peeking from the snow, he realized that they’d been together for a year and somehow for him, though it seemed like a short time, for him the months he shared with Mikasa, didn’t feel like they could be measured by time. 

Eren looked out the window on the night that the snow had completely melted, and he noticed how it was a cloudless night, he then turned to the telescope Armin had gifted them as a wedding gift. He looked to Mikasa who sat pressed up against his shoulder and he said, “We should go to the tree tomorrow, and look at the stars. Would you like that?” 

Slowly, Mikasa moved her head to look at him. She didn’t speak much, because by the end of winter, even that took effort. Instead, she hummed and squeezed his forearm, and in return he kissed her head. Eren felt this uneasy feeling at the pit of his stomach. A feeling that felt like there was a clock in front of him telling him time was running out. 

He hated this gut feeling, and told himself he was wrong, but even as he did, there was a voice telling him that she’d soon be gone. 

“I’d love to sleep under the stars tomorrow,” Mikasa echoed, “Can we do that?” 

Eren held her face in between his hands and kissed her lips and muttered, “We’ll do whatever you want.” 

_I’ll keep you safe and sound,_ he thought, _morning will come and she’ll be with me, and we’ll spend an entire day together, and then go spend the night under the stars._

**⌘**

They sat under the tree on a warm spring night with Armin's telescope, bundled up inside a blanket and with the red scarf intertwined between the two. The winter snow, again, said it’s annual goodbye, and the smell of spring flowers took over. Eren pressed Mikasa against his chest and she quietly repeated the same words she said the day he proposed. 

“Eren... every star you see in the sky is an I love you, don’t forget that.” 

The last time they sat on the patch of grass underneath all the stars, Mikasa wrapped her hands around him. She held him to her chest and Eren heard her heart beating against him. He heard as she struggled to take in her breath and then with her now thin weary voice spoke, “Eren... you know when we go to sleep?” 

“Yeah,” Eren whispered. 

“You know that place in sleep, when you can remember your dreams?” Eren didn’t answer her, he couldn’t. He was trying his best to hold in his tears, but the teardrops were failing miserably to remain in their place. Mikasa caressed his cheek and wiped his tears away and she kept talking, “That’s where I’ll be waiting, t-that’s where I’ll always love you.” 

They both held tears at the corner of their eyes and Mikasa continued speaking, “Eren… since I first met you, there’s something I’ve always wanted to say… t-thank you... thank you for being with me! Thank you for everything, you made the pain I felt bearable,” she beamed, “Sometimes even nonexistent.” _Sometimes._

Eren held her tighter, and when he looked at her, she was smiling at him, she was always smiling just for him. He held her face and she closed her eyes and he kissed every corner of her face as he choked out his words for her, “T-thank you, thank you... for l-letting me be with y-you, thank you for b-being that light in my darkness.” 

Mikasa simply looked at him and whispered, “Always.” They both smiled at each other tearfully the way flowers bloomed once the sunlight touched their petals. They felt like they were fading into one another taking a piece of the other and mixing it with the golden aura of their souls. 

Eren went back to testing his face on her beating chest and she held him tight. He kept echoing, “I love you, I love you, I love you... _I'll see you later_ ,” until he fell asleep. 

Mikasa held him and she kissed the top of his head. She felt so tired. She’d been holding on, clawing at every day, every minute, and every second, but she couldn’t do it any longer. She couldn’t keep the pain of her headaches at bay and hidden from Eren. They’ve become loud and violent against her skull, and there were times she couldn’t pretend anymore. It pained her, really, because she wished she could have an eternity with the man inside her arms, but she knew deep down that it’d be impossible. Their love was strong, but it was one that couldn’t walk freely into the horizon. 

She was so thankful to have him in her life. She thanked their crossed stars to have put him in her path. She even thanked the tumor that was the reason for her goodbye, for giving her parents a reason to seek after his father. She smiled even if he was asleep and he could not see her, because that’s what he’d made her do. Smile. Smile for the good and the bad. That’s what Eren’s presence inspired within her. Although the disease she had was cruel, he made every of her last dying moments beautiful. _This isn’t a goodbye,_ she thought, _I’ll be seeing him again._ And though she cried, she smiled. 

_“See you later, Eren. I love you.”_

**⌘**

He heard a woodpecker in the distance and birds chirping alongside it. He blinked his eyes open and looked at the shining sun making its announcement of the new spring day. 

The violet blue flowers slowly rose and bloomed in front of his eyes and he smiled. He pressed his ear against Mikasa's chest and his heart stopped as the heartbeat he became accustomed to hearing failed to say hello. He saw how her hand laid limply against the soft green grass and his eyes became tearful. 

“N-no,” he uttered, “P-please... no.” 

And he very slowly lifted his head. She’s sleeping, he foolishly tried to convince himself, but he knew better. _He knew better._ He held her now cold hand and placed it over his cheek and he kissed the side of her hand in a guttural tearful wail that made the sky above him break alongside him. 

The sounds of nature carried the chirping of birds, the quiet flow of the nearby river, the constant tapping of the woodpecker, and the cry of a man who felt like he lost his home. 

“Mikasa…” he whimpered.

 _Where did she go?_ He wondered. He held her body and rocked it back and forth as his tears continued to fall. His eyes were closed and he kept repeating in broken words how much he loved her. 

“My home,” he suddenly uttered. 

The wind blew and the soft green grass around him moved alongside a quiet rustle of leaves. A soft flutter touched his cheek and he slowly opened his eyes to find that a blue butterfly was flying around him. 

Eren laughed as he wiped his tears, he kissed the top of Mikasa’s head and hooked his arms underneath her legs and the other behind her neck. As he walked into town with her in hands, the blue butterfly wouldn’t leave his side. 

**⌘**

The funeral was quick. Everyone expected this to happen, so everything was ready for her parting. Eren stood before her grave holding his mother’s hand and walked away before they’d laid her body to rest.

That night, Eren sat on the steps of stone stairs and held his knees to his chest, as he stared at the stars with a weak smile. 

“I love you, too,” he whispered to the wind, hoping for it to carry his words up above where it would reach her. And it was then, as he closed his eyes that he felt how the wind ran its quiet gusts through his hair like caring fingers, and again he smiled. Mikasa was everywhere now. She was in the stars, in the wind, in the heat of a flame, she was inside of him. This is how he would live on. She was now a part of him, and as long as he was alive she’d be alive. 

“Eren?” 

Eren opened his eyes to find Armin moving to sit next to him. Armin didn’t say anything. He knew that there was nothing he could tell him to ease his pain. He simply stretched his hand and wrapped it around his shoulder, and Eren leaned into his chest as he choked out his pain. Armin felt his shirt become wet with his tears and he rubbed Eren’s back as he too wiped his own tears away from his face. 

“I’m right here, Eren… and so is she,” he uttered. 

_So is she._

**⌘**

Eren lived his life. He became a doctor, and soon took over his father’s office. Every time someone sick would arrive at his door, he’d take them in with a smile and do everything in his hands to make them better. When they’d thank him for his work, it always made him feel special, but it never reached the same special feeling _she_ would give him. 

Every weekend he’d sit underneath the tree with the telescope in hand and watch the stars. Most nights he’d spent counting the number of stars in the sky and drawing out the constellations that appeared before him. Armin would join him sometimes. 

Eren would constantly dream with her. In his dreams she’d appear before him. Sometimes he’d wrap the red scarf around her, other times he’d just stand there and watch her. He always wanted to hold her hand and he’d try, but she’d simply shake her head and say, “Not yet, Eren.” 

There were days that were hard, there were days that were easier, but every day he lived, he lived with her in mind. He took everything little by little. He enjoyed his job, he took in the smallest details of nature, and he never felt alone. 

**⌘**

It wasn’t until years much later that Eren sat underneath the tree. That day he woke up, said hello to everyone he saw in town, and said goodbye to his mother and father as if he were going on a long trip. He saw the tree and smiled to himself as he made himself comfortable. He sat down, crossed his legs and leaned his back against the trunk of the tree and closed his eyes. As he felt himself become unconscious, he felt like he was heading home. 

In that tiny moment between wakefulness and slumber did he see her just how he’d always seen her: with her scarf wrapped around her neck, smiling just for him. She was the person he’d always come back to. It was the same dream that appeared before him night after night, nevertheless this time when she held her hand out, he took it and he told her, “I’m here, Mikasa. I’m home,” and she answered, “You’re here, you’re home.”

He smiled and she smiled back, and they walked together hand in hand, as if no time had passed between them, to the realm where they were never to part. And the sole year they had on earth, soon became an eternity spent together, because when people die loving, they never die. 

The End. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it. I will credit this to the anon who sent the request through my tumblr blog, the film "A Walk to Remember," and to the BokuAka (Haikyuu!!) fanfic, “In Another Life.” 
> 
> Writing this was an experience that in all it’s tragedy, I enjoyed pouring all the Eremika angst I hold into words. Once again, thank you for reading this. If you have lost a loved one due to illness, I am truly, truly, sorry for your loss.


End file.
